ABUSERS ARE BULLIES

• Bystanders who watch and record bulling are encouraging and empowering bullies continue to do it again, and again, and again.
• They count on no one being courageous to stop them.
• If no one intervenes, bullies are 60% more likely to perpetrate violence against intimate partners as adults.

Each successful bullying event reinforces their intense desire and need for control in the hopes no one will ever intervene.  So the cycle goes on and on and on. Bullies are not born.  They learn "how to" use their actions by watching successful abusers – adults and other children. The good news is that bullies can be salvaged from the schoolyards.

ACTION POINT: Arm yourself and be ready to HALT bullying in its tracks. Register here to attend the FREE workshop: HALT Teen Dating & Domestic Violence on Saturday, 10/17/15, 8:30 to 11:30 am,    And for more bulling information, click here  http://www.kevinmd.com/blog/2012/04/bullies-born-raised.html

"The Outrage" What is it?

HALT Family Abuse is proud to announce actors from  "The Outrage" will be educating and answering questions at this FREE interactive workshop in October.  Dynamics of relationships developed with friends, family and dating partners during their teens lay foundations that stay with them the rest of their lives.   "The Outrage" received the national Innovative Initiative of the Year Award in 2010,   SAFEHOME is Johnson County's only domestic violence shelter.



If your school is in Johnson County, KS and you would like to schedule a performance of “The Outrage,” please call 913.432.9300 and ask for “The Outrage” Coordinator.

True or False: Domestic violence spiked Labor Day weekend?

"You gotta be kidding," was my immediate reaction to the answer of False!  But according to the National Resource Center on Domestic Violence that holidays see an increase of domestic violence is largely a myth.  The reason being that victims try harder to keep the peace when families are spending time together.

On second thought, during the 23 years together with my ex-husband, it was easy to not upset him during holidays.  He was a "happy" drunk.  It was the days after holidays that he raged and changed from Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde. 

What do you think?

To hear more of my story - register for the FREE workshop - HALT Teen Dating Abuse & Domestic Violence being held October 17, 2015, Saturday, 8:30 to 11:30 am at Leawood Baptist Church, 8200 State Line Road, Leawood, KS -Register at my website - HALT Family Abuse.org or http://bit.ly/HALTOct15

Do you know what "1 in 3" mean?

• 1 in 3 teen dating relationships are experiencing some form of abuse and violence .
• 1 in 3 women experience domestic violence causing more injuries to them than car accidents, muggings, and rapes, COMBINED.

Every third girl and woman you know is experiencing one or more forms of these abuses.   * Emotional      * Financial      * Physical      * Sexual      * Verbal

Click http://nomore.org/ to learn ways YOU can make a difference for loved ones in your life!!!  And register here or at HALTfamilyabuse.org for the interactive FREE workshop: HALT Teen Dating Abuse & Domestic Violence on October 17, 2015, Saturday, 8:30 – 11:30 am.  Donations are appreciated and 25% goes to Safehome domestic violence shelter in Johnson County, KS. 

1 in 3 Girls Under 18 Will Be Molested

(Leawood, KS) Statistics say 1 in 3 girls under 18 will  be molested. How many girls do you know under the age of 18? Register for the upcoming HALT Teen Dating Abuse & Domestic Violence on Saturday 10/17/2015 & learn how to identify signs of abuse in teens and domestic violence. Limited space available.

Register at HALTfamilyabuse.org or http://bit.ly/HALTOct15.

Kansas City, MO Financial Abuse

(Kansas City, MO) Financial Abuse:  A very common form of domestic violence, but seldom talked about, is financial abuse. While I was married, my husband opened a savings account “in his name only” where he deposited his check. Then he handed money to me to cover the house payment and utilities. Groceries and childcare were covered by my paychecks.  Doctor bills, school clothes & supplies for our children and anything beyond the minimum basics, I had to request and justify the need of additional money from HIS account ... almost weekly.

My wardrobe, including underwear, consisted of almost all hand-me-downs and thrift store finds. Our children got new clothes at the beginning of each school year and Christmas.  Financial abuse is just 1 small piece of domestic violence, but a very important one. To learn financial abuse and other aspects of abuse, visit HALTfamilyabuse.org to register for the upcoming “Guiding Families to Safety Conference” on October 11th or visit the workshop listing on Eventbrite at http://bit.ly/1wFR41O.

Domestic Violence - Why Doesn't She Just Leave?

Domestic Violence - A question often asked by people is, “Why doesn’t she just leave?”  

When victims choose to leave abusers, violence by their intimate terrorists increases exponentially. When you hear on the news about a husband murdering his wife, it is often when she has left him or filed for divorce. 

The answer to why she doesn't just leave is actually a multi-faceted question and will be answered with a dramatic performance by Becky Everly, a Professional Storyteller, at the “Guiding Families to Safety Conference at Leawood Baptist Church on Saturday, 10/11/2014. At this educational event, 4 types of abuse will be discussed (child abuse, teen dating violence, domestic violence and elder abuse).

Register for this free workshop at HALTfamilyabuse.org or http://bit.ly/1wFR41O

Leawood Baptist Church 

8200 State Line Rd

Leawood, KS 66206

Saturday October 11, 2014

8:30am - 4:00pm

Continental Breakfast & Lunch included. The workshop is free to attend, but donations will be accepted to cover the cost of workbooks and food.

Abuse Prevention - Kansas City

Abuse Prevention - EVERY day in America 4-5 women die at the hands of intimate partners – 2 of these have occurred in Kansas City in 2014. On 9/11/2014 KMBC9 News reported that 3,600 domestic violence calls have been responded to by the Kansas City Police so far this year. I, for one, am proud to live in a city where the KC Council passed a domestic violence ordinance empowering the police to arrest defendants who violate temporary protection orders.  

Monica Mayberry of the Rose Brooks Center said, "They have time, time to persuade the petitioners to drop the case or maybe not to go to court. Maybe not even follow through with an order of protection."  Mayberry also said, “When they (defendants) violate an ex parte order, it can take weeks or even a month or two before they see any accountability." The interim between temporary to permanent protection orders left victims move vulnerable to their intimate terrorists before this ordinance went into effect.  

If preventing abuse is important to you and you live in Kansas City, call, write a letter, or email the Council saying “THANK YOU” to them for this courageous action they have taken. Then, attend the “Guiding Families to Safety Workshop” on 10/11/2014 to learn to identify the signs of abuse to children, teens, domestic partners and senior citizens in your life. Register at HALTfamilyabuse.org or http://bit.ly/1wFR41O

Kansas City Ordinance Helps Stop Abuse

HOORAY for the Kansas City Council.  HOORAY!!!  They passed a new city ordinance closing dangerous loopholes in temporary protection orders.  KMBC9 News reported Councilman Scott Taylor saying, "The assailant will, after the initial abuse, make contact again and sweet talk and try and get back into the lives and build trust so the person that is abused does not press charges.  This is an important way to stop that."  

The new ordinance allows the city to move faster in arresting violators and doubling fines of the perpetrators during the interim between temporary and permanent protection orders. It also protects victims and gives abusers fewer opportunities to manipulate the petitioner out of following through with getting the permanent protection order. 

To learn more about child abuse, teen dating violence, domestic violence and elder abuse visit HALTfamilyabuse.org and register for the free upcoming “Guiding Families to Safety Conference on Saturday, 10/11/2014.

Ray Rice Opens Conversations Up About Abuse

Recent arrests of NFL players, Ray Rice, Adrian Peterson and Jonathan Dwyer has gotten the public in an uproar bringing family abuse to the forefront of people’s minds. Do you know how to identify children, teens, intimate partners and senior citizens that are possible victims of abuse? How extensive is your knowledge of these four abuses? 

You can learn ways to initiate conversations with possible victims and how to respond to abuse at “Guiding Families to Safety Conference” on Saturday, 10/11/2014.  Safety for victims and yourself is essential in every situation. Register at HALTfamilyabuse.org or http://bit.ly/1wFR41O.

NO MORE symbol

What is NO MORE? It is a new, overarching symbol, like the pink breast cancer ribbon and the yellow support our troops ribbon, that is bringing together all people, organizations and communities that support ending domestic violence and sexual assault in our society.  NO MORE.org

Being a good neighbor.

Are you a good neighbor - learn the signs of family violence - call the police if you even suspect abuse.  You may save someone's life. Learn more here.

Or, or, or . . .

"All we know is that out mate isn't funny all the time, or clever all the time, or considerate all the time, or rich all the time, or handsome all the time, or whatever . . . all the time, not recognizing that if they were all those things all of the time, we would still be looking for more." Susan Jeffers, Ph.D.  The Journey from Lost to Found

"Why doesn't she just leave?"

Did you know that danger increases by 75% when women leave abusive partners?  Domestic violence is about abusers wanting CONTROL of their partners.  Learn the signs of abuse --- make differences for victims. Learn more!

 "Happiness is never something you get from other people. The happiness you feel is in direct proportion to the love you give." ~Oprah  the-best-of-oprah-s-what-i-know-for-sure, 2005

Being 13

 "I've learned that it always makes me feel good to see my parents holding hands. --Age 13"   Complete-live-and-learn-and-pass-it-on

Going to Battle

Are bullies victims?

When people don't like themselves very much, they have to make up for it. The classic bully was actually a victim first.  ~author unknown  More info.

90% of Elder Abuse by Families - What do you think?

Did you know the most common form of Elder Abuse is financial and 90% is done by their families or trusted others?  To find out if this is true, click here.

Know-it-all Couples

"I've learned that couples without children always know just how you should raise yours. --Age 29" Do you agree?  I sure do.  complete-live-and-learn-and-pass-it-on